Well what a week let's recap. Tag teamed with Connor and met some chapel hillians, some other guy asked Chelsea to prom, told chelsea that I would not take her to prom. Had a confirmation of losing two of my close friends...but now to think of it, I guess if they were real friends none of this would of ever happened no matter how long the friendship. Had some team bonding, had colladay today, I think a good 8 people did it, whatever I enjoyed it, also dropping bombs in practice. I.got to see one of my good friends get baptized, very exciting. And I'm am looking forward to my first game of my senior year, and an eventful afterward.

Man it really sucks losing a friend especially one you had shared so much with. I knew her up an down and she knew me in the same directions. I find myself reminising over her when I listen to sum 41, to all of the good times, too bad... I thought I knew you. I wonder how it feels to step on and take advantage of the people who love you and would do anything for you, for your personal benefit. On the other hand I would never want to know how that feels and i will never put myself in that position. Despite all the good times, it's not hard on me at all, I'm surprised how much I don't care. Probably a result of all the things you put me through coming back to my benefit. One step at a time

"I believe that my life's gonna see, the love I give, return to me." -John Mayer

I have been at the school all day oh my lord. However it has been somewhat enjoyable, besides the whole deal between me and Chelsea and the new catcher from chapel hill they say his nickname is shovel face??! But the good part of today is a mixture of getting through my classes with my music and the DECA intiation, "SWOOT" haha. It just made my total day better. Let's see what has been stacked on the negative list:
Chelsea
Prom
Baseball taking away my vacations
Shovel Face (more competition for my position)

And it continues to add up.
But I see my semester brightening up here soon
not really I just hope my friend from McCeachern will come to see my game and we can hangout or something.
Whatever Breakfast at Cracker Barrel wit my Boys ayeeeee

Filling my ears with john Mayer and a day to remember to help me get my mind off of her but it's making me think about her.
It's funny seeing all the sides if a person: them liking you, your all they can think about, having a great time with you, seeing em with someone else and knowing that they just got to you, seeing her flirt with other guys right in front you, knowing she's over you and she's rubbing it in your face. I guess i didn't know her as well as I thought.
I bet she doesn't want to goto prom with me anymore.
I'm pathetic

Superbowl today, whatever both the teams suck. It's time for college... I hate high school I'm sick of seeing the same people do the same stuff with the same people. Especially high school girls. So indesisive, so stupid but don't get me wrong there are s couple or are starting to get a grip.
I'm just so sick of high school... The coaches, the teachers, the classes, the students, the rules. I'm tired of Douglas county. I'm sick of the other three schools inbour district and the people who goto them.
However when I get to college and never see any of these people, I'm sure I'll kind of miss a couple, but on the contrary I will hopefully have mr Lipham as my roommate. That would be grand.
It's sad when I'm here venting to the Internet because I have no one else to tell me what I want to here, or some advice to put it behind me. It's time to go.
On my bad days I sometime wonder if I died, anyone would miss me, would anyone appreciate me, would the people who have put me through my worsts even care. Then I'll sit there and say that Gid wouldn't kill me. Then it snap out of my anger and realize that he could take my life at anytime and that none of this is about me so get over it. But it's so hard. I have my good days and my bad days but on those bad days I feel that so much just keeps making it worse. Is it the devil testing my allegiance, is it the cosequense of sinning, or is it just bad luck. I wish god would just throw a paper ball at me and when opened up it has a list off all the answers. But it doesn't work that way.

So many things are going on when I just think about it: baseball, DECA, school work, grades, spring break, prom, church trips, church, tosh.0 :) baseball, baseball. Yeah I know right, I need a break from it all, not baseball I just want the flippen season to start. Oh and one more thing, weight training. We do the dame work outs every week on the same days... The same ab work outs on the same days, you think they would of figured it out that the same muscles are being work resulting in barely any gain, In college I am going to be my own weight training class... Flawless. But I'm going to carry my GPA on a pedestal and get all my work done and set my priorities. It's gon be bangin bruh. Not really sure what that is supposed to mean??

One day I had realized it, my pride had been shot. I came to the realiztion that she had got over me and was going to move on. So I turned to my good friend and youth minister for advice. I learned so much from him. That I can't let things get to me, i can't make asumptions or expectations for if they aren't met it will only make things worse. Despite that I should let go, but it's hard to let go of something that you care about so much... Very cliche... And now I feel like I'm on a different track, taking to heart what all my graduated friends have told me, "Enjoy your senior year" sounds like a plan... Doesn't mean I have to party or hook up with a bunch of chics. I see plenty of future opportunities that will be fun. I mean were just "friends" :)