Guess today is just one of those days. I didn't do anything to lead to this, this lonliness. Well according to Kenzie today making a cd for a girl is a pretty big deal, well when I was making them, I'm not going to lie it felt like a big deal. Whatever. Well I was hoping to see that 1 missed call alert after not being near my phone for two hours. I guess that gives me some hope, I don't know why. Who knows maybe that means something good is going to happen, or absolutley nothing is going to happen (high possibility). But I will still keep a cool mindset.
I need College. But isn't that what everybody says? I mean it's not like you can run away from the present. Oh lord how I wish I could.
College, it's coming. I'm so scared but I'm not, I feel like it's time. I wish I could just break it to my dad that I don't want to play baseball in college, even though I do. But ball and school are not going to mix. I know it's going to let him down, it let's me down. Very depressing thoughts :( but college is going to be so awesome. Smoke a stogie every night with my roommate I hope it's gonna be that easy.more than anything I hope there is going to be a nice gym, that would really dissapoint me if there isn't :(

I am ashamed of my first blog, filled with extremely scattered ideas but then is this blog, filled with unorganized blog posts. I think to much.
I wish I could figure her out. Oh surprise the first post about a girl.
I guess it is true, I have come to the conclusion that I am too nice, I let her walk over me. This will stop. I guess it clicked after I got the same break up excuse. It was awful the second time, it felt like my last break up and the current got me in a tag team match. Very depressing. I don't want to, I don't want either of us to have a broken heart going into college. CLASSIC, then when you bring it up nothing beats the response of I don't know what to say. I think it's built into every woman, when they know they have been confronted. I guess I should just quit getting myself into these situations, Jake quit trying to date your best friends that are girls and when you date other girls just dump them before it gets serious. Like that right? We have known each other for ever and we knew it was going to happen, but it turned to be a two week joke. A month before we dated I wrote her a poem, no one has something like that before For her, no one has ever given her flowers before. I guess that was mistake. Maybe she will come across it one day and see what it could of been, us. Just one of those things on tv that you see and hope they happen to you. I guess everything will work out in the end. But according to linkin park, in the end it doesn't even matter...

Tosh was epic tonight.
But anyways it funny how people are, for example on facebook the girl who parties all the time and really hot can post the classic John 3:16 and get a good; somewhere around 20, 23 likes but I can post a verse in a chapter that people are to lazy to even read and get an incredible 1 like out of it. I mean just because you post John 3:16 on your facebook Doesnt mean your Christian nor a good person... Well if that's what is trying to be achieved, but these days it's incredible how people can just put you in categories based on your actions. By no means am I calling myself a perfect Christian because I am far from it. But I do thank you Courtney Schartle for my proud one like :)

First day of blogging haha, i guess my inspiration comes from the social network and Mark Zuckerberg.

Alexander is getting very dull. The same stuff, same people. But then again i bet that is what everyone else thinks.  But on a better note I feel that my lack of doing things during the weekends #loser, has fell on my youth group to keep me occupied. Especially being how we got a new youth pastor, well intern, whatever...Jesse Pinklton. Almost positive that I spelled that wrong. So anyways Jesse P as he is in my phone. I will continue later its time for Tosh!